


Obstinate (Zayn Malik AU)

by ziamslick



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Sickfic, ZAYN MALIK ILL, zayn malik au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:26:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3924541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamslick/pseuds/ziamslick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking back, wishing I had a better life<br/>Wishing I did something better<br/>Wishing I didn't do this<br/>My life is full of ifs and buts,<br/>but he keeps me on my toes.<br/>All this suffering, all this torture. Is it worth it?<br/>Maybe for once I should've been selfish...<br/>That way I don't have to live everyday in hell.<br/>But who am I to look back and regret everything<br/>when looking at him now, he was saving more lives than any man could've.<br/>I mean, he's Zayn. Everybody loves him.<br/>And I'm glad I saved him, even if it means<br/>My eternal suffering.<br/>~Ziamslick</p><p>Obstinate: Stubbornly persistent in wrong doing.</p><p>this is actually in my wattpad..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teaser

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scottmcniceass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottmcniceass/gifts).



> Welcome to my very first fan fiction.  
> This was posted around September last year, but I took it down thinking it was to... cliché and carroty so... I'd like to give it another go... Well hope you like it. X

**TEASER**

\----------

"You filthy slut! Scream my name bitch!" Jake was drilling me from behind as I squirm. He was slapping me like a mad man, and here I was under him powerless and vulnerable.

"Jake!" I whimpered, hot tears never seem to stop. My back was killing me, I never seem to get used to his largeness nor his aggressiveness.

It was purely and utterly different from Zayn's gentle touch, always so soft and sweet. Never doing things with out asking permission.

"Please-- Pl-please stop" I bit my lip so hard, I knew it was bleeding by now.

"Ahh-- I'm close!" He screemed as his member hardens behind me. "Gaaaah!" His seed filling my ass, as I quickly remove myself from him with a soft 'pop'.

He lazily turned to the side as sleep in deep slumber. I grabbed the sheet and went to the bathroom, dragging it with me.

I quickly dropped it, and turned the shower on, not bothering if its still to cold, as I tried to make myself feel clean again. Even if its just for a second or to.

Suddenly, I just feel to hazy, I can see black spots clouding my vision. I leaned to the wall for support, and slid down my head between my knees as I weep for my own foolishness

 


	2. Chapter 1

“Hello? Yes, this is Alexandra Winters, I’m 21.... Yeah, so the thing is, I work in Angel’s bakeshop, yeah, only part time--” I faked a call

“Who are you talking to?” The brat son of the owner asked me.

“Police”, I shrugged “So her son is actually threatening not to give me--” He snatched my phone away from my grasp and slammed it in the counter.

“Fluffy! Sheesh really?! You dont have to go that far you know!” I snatched it from his grasp. “I was just teasing you.” I pouted.

“Exactly the point..” I suppress a giggle as he mocks me.

Suddenly his whole facade changed.

“I don’t have a chance do I?” I looked down. I hate it when he suddenly brings this thing up. I like him better when he’s playful.

“Need I remind you, I have a boyfriend?” I sassed, faking a smirk, and trying to lift the gloomy atmosphere.

“Right...” He rolled his eye at me. “The one who totally hurts you, every chance he can.” a short pause between us. “You know you can’t hide those scars from me.”

Instinctively, i lowered my sleeves, trying to hide the black and blue bruises, feeling a little ashamed all over again. Jack can be a little harsh sometimes...

I sighed, I looked up and gave him a tight smile. “Can I just have my pay check?” I’m already trying my best to change the subject, but knowing Michael, he wouldn’t let it go easily.

He just brushed me off and went across the room, sweeping the other side.

“I wonder how you keep up with him...” He asks absentmindedly.

“I’m actually late for work?” I’m tapping my left foot for emphasis.

“He’s not worth your time...” He tried again.

I audibly suspired. Why can’t he just drop it?! “I need to earn Mikey” My teeth gritting, using the pet name that would bring him to the edge. But i thought wrong.

“He can’t even worked for you” He was talking mostly talking to himself now.

“He’s not capable to, because he’s hurt!--”

“Because he’s always high!” Are voices are nearly shouting. He has a point but I wont give him the satisfaction, and this, this argument was over a thousand years ago.

“You won’t let it go do you?!”

“You won’t let him go, would you?” My mouth opened promptly but I realized he is right

I sat down in the counter, leaning my head against the display glass i closed my eyes. “You know i cant Mikey”

 

I jerked as I heard a banging sound, Michael spanged the broom to the floor “Oh for goodness sake Alex its been what, 4 years or so?!”

I guess he’s right, it’s been 4 years and I’m still keeping up with Jake.

A week after I bid my goodbye to Zayn, we left for America. I owe my life to the him, but i left him with his insecurities, not bothering to look back. Even the Maliks was shocked, but they knew the decision was made. I had a sister, but she left me under the Malik when our dad died, off to Paris and settled there. When we moved here, Jake talk to some of his friends and helped us relocate. Basically I am all he’s got and me to him.

“I know what you think about him...” I dragged the sentence waiting for him to interrupt, but he didn't, “But you know he’s the only thing I’ve got.”

“Yeah, thing...” He chuckled sarcastically, I was about to correct myself but he beat me to it. “Besides, we both know your just coping with him because he’s Zayn’s brother.”

“So? Give him a chance.”

“But you already gave him 2 years to change! And we both know that from he very beginning you only love him as a ‘brother’” He made quotations to ‘brother’

“Give him a rest, he needs more time.”

“Whut?!” He shouted “You’ve got to be kidding me. Why do you have to be so kind to him?! For pete’s sake, look at you! You know you can’t be generous forever”

I tilted my head to the side. “He has every right to be heped, doesn’t mean that he’s a bad person, doesn’t mean he doesn’t need mercy. I’m all he’s got Mikey, he left everyone for me.”

“And you left everything for him. Stop being so selfless Alex, think about yourself sometimes.” He sighed, “Here’s your paycheck, you got 10 minutes to spare.”

He gave me piece of paper, “I will” Jumping off the counter, grabbed my bag, and pecked him in the cheek before leaving my only safe haven.  
*****  
As I entered ‘Slovenly Woman’, the bar I work to, the undeniable smell of smoke and hard liquor engulfed me. I went straight to the ‘Employees’ powder room, blowing kisses to my regular customers.

“Your late” Rose eyed me, her hair was loose. She’s wearing her typical red top, a sleeveless blouse that only covers her fake teat as the string connect to her neck. She turned her back on me, her butt almost showing through her leather (super) mini skirt. Her heels clucking.

I made a funny face behind her, she was the assistant manager. She was Tengo’s favorite that’s why, and not because she was actually good at it.

I then heard a snicker beside me,”Heya!” I greeted Natalie. Suddenly her mood changed, she looked stress. Abruptly, I felt a pair of arms hugging me. Natalie is the closest I can call a friend. Were not exactly that close, I mean we don’t share our personal lives to each other, it was an unspoken decision. But nevertheless I still treat her like my younger sister. “What’s wrong?” I asked

“Thank goodness your finally here, there’s somebody outside I don’t want to see. I don’t think he saw me yet. Can you please entertain him for me? He’s in bar, please make sure he won’t lay eyes on me.” She was holding me in arms length, her hands in my shoulder. “I’ll stay on your booth, please Alex, I promise to cover for your shift tomorrow. Please”

I just rolled my eyes at her, “Fine, anything for you” She giggled like a kid and kissed my cheek before skipping towards the door.

I sighed before quickly changing to my uniform.

5 minutes later, I’m already making my way towards bar.

Who might this be? An ex? But Natalie never mentioned about having a boyfriend.

As I draw closer, I can see a familiar blonde hair, but I just can’t put my finger to it. Why is he sitting at the bar and not closer to the dance floor?

He looks around mindlessly, till he locked gaze with me.

“Hi, may I take a seat?” I asked batting my eyelashes.

He eyes me up and down warily, “I don’t think I wanted a dance?” He dismissed me, but by the looks of it he doesn’t want me to leave just yet. His Irish accent hard not to notice.

“Oh?” I mocked hurt “I’ll just keep you company then” I winked seating at the stool beside him.

He was silent, just staring at the glass infront of him as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. I bit my lip for his cuteness, I shifted straightening my posture.

“So... Why are you here for?” I looked around, “And it doesn’t seem like your with someone?”


	3. Chapter 2

“Nah, I’m here alone.” He answered

“What brought you here?” Curiosity getting the best of me.

He shrugged, “My friend’s trying to move on, we’re staying at the same temporary flat. I just wanna give him some alone time..”

 

I chuckled, “Aren’t he suppose to be the one here? I mean he’s the one that needs a drink.. Not you”

A small laughed escape his lips, “Your right, but. He got this cancer before, so he wants to take good care of himself. He drinks occasionally but never smokes.” He smiles to himself, but in a blink of an eye it was gone.

I froze at the word cancer but I just shrugged it off. “You look down, can I do something to help you?” I purrred seductively putting my hands in his thigh, walking upwards.

He looked panic-y for a while before I removed my hand and started laughing so hard, I swear I can feel Rose’s gaze burning from the back of my head. “You-- You should’ve seen your f- face”

“I-- I--”

“No, Don’t” I held up a hand “Don’t embarrass yourself further.” I giggled

“You- Your good” He laughed along.

“Years of practice” I winked, he mocked horrified and our laughs grew louder.

I was still laughing when his turned to a polite smile, abruptly I bit my lip.

He looked me in the eye.. “You know, you don’t seem like you fit in here.” he utters inattentively.

I gave him a genuine smile. “I just-- I don’t, I--” Stopping midsentence

“Your what?”

“Okay, how bout, ---” No. “Okay uhmm.” I’m thinking of an escape route but nothing just pops.. He looks at me patiently. I sigh. “Can i just say something crazy?”

“If your gonna propose, the answer is no” He chuckled, I playfully smacked him in the shoulder.

“Ofcourse not!” I chucked, “It’s just that, I came across this job, only because its the closest i have in becoming a dancer... Plus its easy money”

Being in this job will not only earn me more money than the other part time jobs but its also the closest thing I have in becoming a professional dancer, atleast it would give me satisfaction.

“Why here? I mean there are alot of contests, try-outd, or auditions now a days.... Why won’t you try?”

I don’t know who this Irish dude is, but he makes me feel comfortable, not like the other customers, in which I always feel sick and nauseous.

“I tried, I swear I did, but I don’t know.. I never really won, or got the slot, so I just didn’t bother, if it’s really for me. God we’ll find a way... Either way, I’m still pathetic.” I chuckled, humoring myself.

I gave up on my passion when we moved here, we had nothing, so I had to work all the time. A year after I tried auditioning for studios or workshops, It lessened, I never really had the time. The time came when Jake started bruising me, I finally gave up. Being a dancer, you need to wear sleeveless and short skirts, but with all the marks, I can’t risk them seeing it and imprisoning Jake. I’m all Jake has, and at the moment, he needs my help.

“He said try and try until you succeed?” His tone hopeful.

“I don’t want to risk anything” I smiled at him.

“Huh? What would you risk?” Curiosity clear in his eyes.

I suddenly felt like Its harder to breath, and started shifting uncomfortably.

“Uhmm can we change the topic?”

He nods in understanding, suddenly his eyes brightened in excitement. I tilt my head in confusion my left eyebrow raised in query.  
“Can you like, dance for me and the lad? You know like for fun only.” He shrugged

“How am I suppose to react to that? Cause honestly I don’t think that’s a good idea” I responded with a lift of eyebrow. Folding my arms infront of me.

I never danced outside these walls, with people watching, for two years now and it seems a little bit odd for me. The only reason i feel free to dance here, is because in the dark they don’t even notice my bruises.

“Look, I know you were just kidding.. But I know you want to help-- Shh! You can’t deny the sincerity in your eyes” He stopped me before i could stop him. “So please do this. I’ll pay twice than what they pay you. Plus I’ve got the deal for you... If you do this, I promise to recommend you to great people... Just please?” He pleaded with his cute Irish-puppy eyes.

“First of all, why would you even do that? You barely know me! Second, what made you think he’ll get over her if I would dance for you guys? Is he really that easy to get? And Third, Mr. Irish Man I don’t think its good to trust people you only met in the club, you don’t even know my name yet!” I half shouted, catching my breath.

“You seem kind?” He shrugged, as I rolled my eyes at him. “And nope he’s not ‘easy’, it took him 3 years to get over a girl and only five months ago he did, and now that they broke up he’s back to sulking again. And lastly its Niall, Niall Horan” He stretched his right hand for me to shake, a cheeky grin plastered in his face.

I took it and smiled back at him. “But point not yet proven” I shrugged.

“Please, please I’ll do anything” He pleaded.

“Look, okay. How sure are you that this won’t ruin you friendship? He seems pretty-- Touchy. Don’t you think he’ll get offended?” I asked and pulled a knowing smirk.

“Point really taken.” He placed his head in his hands, leaning in the table with his elbows, he seems deep in thought. “I know that no matter wjat happens nothing will replace her in his heart. But 3 years of suffering? I think that’s to much, don’t you?” He mumbles to himself but I still nodded my head in agreement nevertheless. Talking about love thingys makes my heart clench. My mind always wandering back to Zayn. We’ve been through much but I just threw it all away with a snap of a finger, nor even warning him first nor turning back when I left him, and even though it was my decision to abandon him, it still pained me. Sometimes I wonder if he’s moved on already, then I remembered, he’s Zayn, the sweet charming lad, what’s not to love?

“-after everything he’s been through, all I want is for him to be happy, and throwing him a party like a typical collage dude won’t hurt right?” Flashing me such adorable smile, and looked straight “-but if it doesn’t even please him the slightest, then atleast I can say that I did my best”

He looked over at me for reassurance, and I nodded my head. “Besides, somethings telling me that I need to bring you to him. That you could help him--”

“Move on?”

“No, be himself again. The old him that I see in pictures, the geeky yet immature and dopey.” His grin widened.


	4. Chapter 3

As I entered the apartment, I wasn’t surprised to see Jake sleeping on the couch bottle in hand, I walked over to him and grabbed the bottle careful not wake him up.  
I went to the kitchen and decided on making instant Mac and Cheese, when suddenly I felt a familiar pair of hands on my stomach.  
Drunk Jake is the least Jake you want

“Hey, babe” I sighed, half smiling. Fake it til you make it.

“How’s your day?” He pushed my hair to the side and kissed my neck.   
“Not now Jake. I’m tired.”  
“I want you” He started licking my earlobe  
“Jack please? “ I turned and faced him, pushing him a little as I leaned at the kitchen counter.  
“Aww, is wittle Sasha tired?” My heart clenched at the nickname. Jake only uses that nickname to piss me off, knowing only Zayn can pull that off without me ready to straggle a person.  
“Jack, I’ve had a busy day at work, please?” I begged. I’m already trying my best to keep everything intact.  
I walked away, but before I could, he yanked my hair, pulling me to the bedroom, luckily the apartment is small, its not a long walk. “I want you, and I always get what I want” Tears threaten to appear but I pushed it off.   
He slammed me to the bed and before I knew it, he’s already towering me. Pinning my hands above my head, he kissed me here ad there. Disgust all over me as I looked around, not bothering to look at him.  
He slapped me across the face Hard, as I whimpered. “Filthy Slut, look at me” he held my jaw tight forcing me to look at him and part my lips.  
It takes everything in me not to spit him in face, but knowing Jake for so long he’ll just be more aggressive, Jake wants me feisty and I don’t want to give him more reasons to touch me.   
Before I know it, my clothes was ripped off from me, I didn’t even realized that he was already naked above me.  
I closed my eyes like I always do when he touches me, imagining Zayn was the one making love to me, and not this dipshit.But his touch was rough and forced not like Zayn, perfect, gentle and sweet.  
I try to block everything out  
Your so beautiful Sasha

I whimpered as he thrusts in and out of me

Are you sure about this?

I couldn’t be more happier, when I’m with you.  
Zayn’s words echoed in my ear.


	5. Chapter 4

I woke up naked, his arms and his legs tightly rapped around me. I’m sweating pales I have to get out now.

I carefully pealed his body away from me, trying not to wake him up

I stood up and observed him for a while. I never loved Jake but I feel pity for him, he left everyone for me-- somebody who never loved him nor even think twice about it. I know Jake’s Obsession about me is unhealthy and I should have left him years ago, but after leaving Zayn, I felt like I owe it to him-- to care for his brother.

 

Jake needs my help, and knowing obstinacy, that if he will go to rehab he’ll only make it worst and that would cause more danger. If he will go to rehab, sooner or later they will know his Zayn’s brother (the resemblance is unmistakable) and I don’t want to ruin his reputation. That and he will find jack, then most probably he’ll find me to, and I’m not ready for that yet.

I know the last bit was selfish, but you can’t blame me tho. I don’t want to feel his rage just yet, when I’m still barely healing. Self preservation is the only thing’s left of me.

Achoo!

My phone went off. (A/N It’s a kid sneezing, I’ll try to put it in the media bar x)

I don’t wanna stress about anything just yet...

I groaned. Jake started shifting. Fluffy! I dashed to the shower making it seem like I was there for a while now.

++++

I took my time and when I was finished, I wrapped myself with a hardened towel, and another for my hair. I looked at the mirror, my eyes are still a little bloodshot, my cheeks are starting to bruise now in red and blue. I looked down and saw hickies all over me. I had goosebumps in disgust and before I know it, I’m already throwing up.

Yuk!

I cleaned my teeth and composed myself before mustering the courage to go out and face Jake.

He was sitting at the edge of the bed, his head between his hands, he seems flustered.I sigh just walking past him, dropping my towel and putting my clothes on. I am fully aware that he’s looking at my every move but what’s not to hide right?

I wore a Black sweatshirt that shows a little bit of my bust but I don’t really mind; a black skinny jeans that has a little rip in the knee, I grabbed my black pouch and my crappy cellphone before I went out of the room-- but before I could, he grabbed my elbow making me face him.

“Look I’m sorry that won’t happen ever again, I promise just-- I’m sorry, please stay?” He sighs

This always happens, he gets drunk wanting, me denying him, then he starts to push himself to me, beating the shit out of me, I wake up bruises all over me, then him waking up sobber and pleading for forgiveness.

I just kissed his cheek and patted it before I gave him a weak smile, walking away.

I went to the counter and boiled some water.

While waiting I did my make-up putting more concealer then intended, it still hurts alot though, but I’m used to it.

When the whistle started, I put some tea and cooked 4 fried eggs, placing it in the counter and finished my tea.

Jake was in the telly the whole time. I grabbed my bag and headed out

“I’m off” I shouted.

I remembered my phone going off, I checked it, finding a text from an unknown number

*Good morning beautiful Xx You still up for it? -Ni*

*Yeah sure, text me later the address* I don’t know what to put as a signature, but I just decided against it

*Can I just fetch you? :c -Ni*

*No*

*Why? -Ni*

*Because I don’t want you to :p Now stop before I change my mind*

*Fine :P, Laters ;) Xx -Ni*

I was to intrigued, that I didn’t realize I was already in front of the bakeshop.

I walked in with a smile, on my face when I spotted Mike

“Morning Mikey!” I shouted. His cleaning the kitchen counter.

“What’s with the good mood?” He chuckled wiggling his eyebrows.

I raised my left eyebrow, and he got the message quickly.

Sometimes he forgets that I don’t have a normal relationship and that our sex was always not as heavenly as everyone-- people who think I have a happy love life-- thinks  
“So why are you smiling then?”

“I wasn’t” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Please tell me that you finally realized how much you love me and that you finally want Jack to fuck off so that we can run away and chase the sunset like in the movies” He’s already catching his breath.

I just looked at him trying to keep a serious face when all I want to do is burst out in a fit of laughter

“Damn” Snapping his fingers, faking regret.

“Oh, Mikey, you know I will always love you!” I said pinching his cheeks wiggling it to the sides, I didn’t realize he’s already reaching for me til I felt the sting in my cheek.

“Shit sorry, I didn’t realize, I-- wait... Did he hurt you again?” I looked at everywhere but him. “Hey look at me.” He held my other cheek making me face him.

“When will you leave him? I dare say this is already enough. Alex I care for you, and you know that. It pains me seeing you like this.” A pregnant silence, stretched between us.

“I sometimes imagine it-- you know, him wounding you, while your curled up in a corner so vulnerable yet--Gaah!” He groaned his hands leaving my cheeks. “Please leave him Alex, please leave him before-- before he kills you..” He whispered the last bit, an audible gasp escaped my lips

I bit my lip, stopping myself from crying. My fist clenched. “You know I can’t” I spat, not because of my anger for him. But for the hatred I feel towards myself.

What did I get myself into?

“Fuck! Okay, Fuck! This pure bullshit! Fuck Zayn, Fuck Jack, Fuck everybody!” I winced at his words. Fuck everybody huh? I know he doesn’t mean it that way but it still pained me. I’m Disgusting. I’m a freakin stripper for pete’s sake! “-sometimes think about yourself Alex! Zayn doesn’t even fucking know how much you are sacrificing for him! I bet his already with anothe girl, I bet his already big headed who thinks he could buy the whole world. And I bet he is so angry at you right now... I bet he doesn’t love you anymore.”

Realization dawned me, he’s right, I bet if he will find me, his first impression is loathing. I left him for his brother and now I’m a stripper, of course Its inevitable for him to feel that way.

He realized his sudden outburst. “Look, I’m sorry but I want to you face reality, to know the truth before--” He cut himself off

“Before what?”

“Nothing” He shrugged, “Let’s just get back to work”

My fists clenched harder, I can feel the blood. I always let it pass when Mike is hiding something from me, but not this time, not when I knew it has something to do with Zayn.  
“Michael tell me, now” I hissed. When I’m mad or full, I always use his full name and he gets the message right away.

He sighs, taking a deep breath before blurting”--He finds you” I raised an eyebrow. “Men were looking for you last night, I thin they made sure not to stumble to you. There looking for you, but I don’t think they wanted to meet you either. They were asking for information” He sighs

I’m was frozen in place, not sure what to do.

Who could it be? Zayn? I’m not sure. They had concerts here a few times already without me stumbling with any of the boys, what makes this different? Why now? After all this years he just decided to look for me now? Pathetic. I bet there’s a reason behind it.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may or may not be the worst chapter... So please bear with me. It took me a long time to write this bc I'm having the usual writers block.. This is pure Shite, warning.
> 
> The next chapter will be sooo much better.

A couple of hours ago Niall texted me the address, and I decided to go there at 7:00 its already 6:32 so I got 20 minutes to spare. Im in black PINK shirt with a tube bra underneath (so that later on I just have to remove the T-shirt) and a skinny jeans with black killer heels, I also wore my brown coat to save me from colds.

I currently am standing at the pavement, waiting for the Taxi to bring me to the flat

When one finally stopped infront of me felt eyes looking at me, I looked around and spotted two guys wearing a black tux-- like the one in movies. When I looked at him he suddenly turned around pressing his ear bud

Oh gosh, this may be the guys Mike is referring to 

I scrambled inside hit the pedal I shouted, the driver looked at me warily

I turned around and saw mister tux is already jogging towards us.

I slammed the back of his chair repeatedly, Go, go, go, go, go! I screamed as he hit the pedal.

We stopped at the red light and I breathed not knowing I was holding 

Im sorry I made you nervous back then, but can we speed up? I think Im running late. I apologized, head still leaning at the window. He just nodded

And before I know it, hes already pulling up infront of the flat. Damn.

I dont think Ill be allowed to go in, without a pass, good thing the driver parked across the street. 

I dialed Nialls number, he answered after the fourth ring.

Ni, Im here. I scrambled out, making sure to give the man a big amount of tip. (Ill regret that later on, but lets forget it first)

Ill be there in 5 He hanged.

I looked around taking my surroundings in, when suddenly I spotted the Obstinate bill board, not far ffrom here. I was to busy thinking about the mister tux guy that I didnt bother looking around.

My eyes widen as I saw 2 very familiar men. I knew Niall was familiar but I never thought he was that familiar! 

Niall was the bass guitarist for one of the greatest boy bands! Obstinate!

Okay calm down Alexa, maybe its another lad he was referring to, oh Garsh! What if hes at the party to? Or worse hes the one Im suppose to dance with? Fluffy?!--

Kate! I turned and saw Niall waving at me across the street.  
I tensed, and with whats left from me, I waved back. I hastily walked over to him, my feet is moving to its own accord. I need to stop right now before I cant say no.

But as I was about to back out, I didnt realize I was standing infront of him.

Im so glad you made it. He grinned from ear to ear, excitement evident in his eyes.

Um yeah, about that-- I trailed, looking back at the Obstinate bill board for support, but when I looked at him, he already got it all figured.

He looks down almost instinctively, I knew I let him down and I feel this sudden urge protect him

Opening his mouth then closes it, clearly he was lost of words. 

I want to... But-- 

Your not a fan right? He asked, as if knowing the answer yet wants assurance and this shocked me. Of course hell think Im one of those obsessed haters, it both explains why neither I dont know them nor basically jumps up and down nor kisses there feet.

WHAT?! I chuckled, Im sorry Irish, your hot and adorable-- Ill give you credit for that- but boy bands are seriously not my thing

He gave of this relieved sigh and shakes his head, ass if saying of course

Please Kate. Please please please. I will make sure that you will be a well known dancer, you wouldnt need to go back to that filthy job of yours--

Which? Humoring myself. He gave me a look and went on.

\--Please? Its hard to look for another girl who doesnt realize its me til the next day I know how you feel, I really do. When all you wanted is to be wanted for who you are, and not because your fit nor pretty or because you have this big bruise in the side of your lip, the universal sign of I need help, I need your pity

Fine I rolled my eyes at him. It felt right. It felt good. I know one day, if Ill be needing an escape, Niall will happily give me one

He happily dragged me towards the elevator, the ride was silent and when we reach the door, everything finally dawned to me. Most probably Ill be seeing Zayn. I stopped Jack from taking rehab, and yet in a snap of a finger everything is gone. Al the effort of loosing him is gone. Later on he will see me and.. And.. Oh Gawd. How could I let this happen? How stupid of me.

I stopped him from twisting the nob, and he grabbed my hand, "Hey, it's just us. Calm down"

He looked at me square in the eye, and it takes everything in me not turn into a mush. 

"Exactly why I can't calm down!" I stomped, he just chuckled at me. 

Without a warning he dragged me in. His flat looked like a modernized japanese home. A small area for shoes, a mat and a step higher. The first thing you would see would be the round table and not the lounge. Everything was dark, but there was a little light on the right. 

He dragged me to the side and took me in. My arms was crossed and I was pouting, irratated for being dragged abruptly. He bit his lip and chuckled (again) at me.

"You have a hobby of doing that" He gestures at me.

I raised a brow.

"That, pouting and crossing your arms" Excuse me? But I still held my ground. "Besides I have a surprise" He shrugged. 

"Niall?!" Surprisingly its a soft voice that surely comes from a girl

"Look this is probably unexpected, but please don't be mad at me" And before I could react he already dragged me deeper.

"Hi!" I looked at my left and saw 3 familiar boys raising Cola's and popcorn, and another woman all sitting in the couch, they quickly scrambled to their feet, took 5 steps forward towards us.

"Hi!" I mumbled, looking back at Niall, who was grinning at me like I'm 10 years old.

"Kate, this is Harry, Louis, Liam and Danielle"

Garsh, I totally forgot my name

I didnt even realize my subconscious was looking for him

As if on cue I heard him

"Sasha?"

A glass probably broke but I can't no longer hear anything. My emotional part is still not prepared for this.

Everyrthing became to much for me, all I see now is red

Flashes of my nightmare cameback

"My little princess" Daddy

"Nobody needs you here" Sis

"Shut up you little slut" Him  
And the worst was of Zayn, lying in the hospital morgue, lifeless.

 

Just then, I feel claustrophobic.


	7. Chapter 6 on Zayn's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has so many flashbacks, I feel like I'm giving to much away... But nah! Got a few more secrets in my sleeves. Hope you'll love this!

"Sasha?" The glass of water slipping in my hands, and I couldnt careless, her face was hard to read.

Suddenly, she was already kneeling down, holding her head as she screams out in pain.Im in pain.

Instincts get to me, swiftly I was infront of her, shaking her slightly

"Sash, look at me. Calm down love, calm down. Your safe. Please calm down"  
Never did I imagine being able to hold or see her ever again, let alone calm her from her breakdowns.

She pushed me and started running outside, Niall started running but I stopped him by the elbow.

"Leave it to me"

"What?! No"

"I fucking said leave it to me! Don't you dare move an inch, I swear I'd kill you if you do" I warned him before chasing after Sasha. He took to much time.

She's Kate? Niall's been blabbering about her th whole day. No wonder my mind always wander towards her everytime! Of course they had to be the same person! I should have realised earlier! How could I be so fucking dumb?! 

When Sasha is on her breakdown state, she tends to be Claustrophobic so I don't think she'll be able to use the elevator, I ran to the fire exit as I saw a glimpse of her.

As I reached the grounds she was nowhere to be found. Shit! I can't lose her the second time! 

I groaned in frustration, tugging my hair to ease the pain.

I was about to go up when I remembered 

When Sasha breaks down she looks for a tree and sits there til she fells asleep. It reminds her of there usual sunday picnic with her dad.

I looked around til I remembered thre's a tree near the back,

To my relief she was there her head safely tucked between her knees 

Cautiously I paced towards her til I hear her soft snores. Some things never change, I chuckled to myself. Scooping her to my arms, I carried her in.

This time I took the elevator. 

She was lighter than I expected. Ever since her dad died she always have this breakdowns that would only trigger if and only if she sees any resemblance of him. Every single time I always had an explanaition, I know her better than anyone even herself. But now, I just can't. Did I cause this?

When I reached the door, Danielle and Liam was already outside. He opened the door for me and I directly went to Niall's room laying her there. Not realizing that everybody was already staring at us, not knowing what to do nor how it happened or why it happened 

"Hey" I gave them a tight smile. The all looked at each other before hesitantly, moving closer. I don't blame them though, I knew they all heard my voice a while ago, but what shocked them was not my promise, but because I said it towards Niall whom I have a soft heart for. They know I can NEVER say no to him, let alone threaten him.

But nevertheless it was Niall who took a step forward and sat beside Sasha. "What happened? Why did she ran off like that? Is she okay? How did you find her? Why didn't you let me chase after her?" Worry clear in his eyes, as he brushed a strand off of her face.

Involuntarily I stepped back, I realized Niall do have feelings for Sasha-- Alex--Kate since the very moment he laid eyes on her. I can't hurt my bestmate, not when finaly he found his princess after Samantha. I can't take her away from him. Not when I know she will be the one to make him truly happy.Not when Niall was the one who inruduced me to Natalie. Not when I already got my chance on her. Not after everything Niall sacrificed, just for me to get over Sasha.

Yeah, so maybe I told them that I'm getting over a girl, but I didn't tell them her name, for it feels to foreign in my tongue. Also I can't deny the fact that everytime I hear her name it makes my heart clench.

"She's fine.She's an old friend." I shuffled his blonde streak

"Your not answering me" He pouted like a child

Hands up defensively, I replied "I don't think I'm in any position to tell you why, let's just wait for her. Shall we?"  
"How did you meet?" It was an innocent question, but it was everything I wanna forget.

Where to start? So much has happened between us, I don't know where to begin.

 

After her mother died, his dad decided to move to bradford for his work. They happened to live across us, I even remembered seeing a little 8 year old girl, grinning from ear to ear when her dad praises her for helping. 

They also happen to be at the same school which was 5 blocks away from their neighborhood, we became really close, and let's not forget the fact that we were only 37 steps away (yup, we counted. Door-to-door paces). We became family friends, and sooner rather than later, became childhood sweathearts. We became each others' firsts. 

One day her dad died. and that was the downfall of our relationship. 

She started having breakdown, my brother falling head over heals for her, me and my insecurities, and them leaving the state after my operation.

Either way, I just said the easiest way out.

"We were classmates" I shrugged,

A moment of silence. I looked up, Harry and the others just nod at me in understanding before making their way out. 

"Thanks by the way" Niall smiled, he was talking to me yet he can't take his eyes of her. She really got him all worked up. Before, I was to accustomed to this smile, I didn't even miss it 'til Sam broke up with him, that I-couldn't-have-been-happier smile of his.

I ruffled his hair affectionately before leaving the room, giving them-- him space.

I don't want to see him sad, even if it means I would have to let go of Sasha

Heading to the kitchen I prepared some Yorkshire Tea, whenever she had breakdowns she looses her apetite for atleast 12 hours, except for tea.

Wow, after all these years I can't believe I still remember the little things bout her. What surprised me the most was that the glow in her eyes was already gone; it looks darker and-fiercer, yet afraid. 

"Hey, you okay?" Daniel, interrupted my train of thoughts

"Um, yeah"  
"Shocker, huh?" She giggled

"Yeah, totally" I shook my head, if only she knew "Tea?"

"Nah, I'm good"

Liam joins us as I took a seat at the island, waiting for the water to boil.

"We should get going, I guess tonight's not a good idea" He nod at me, and I nod back. 

I bid them goodbye and headed to Niall's room, but before I could intrude I heard them murmuring, but still loud enough for me to hear them.

"Something's up." Must be Louis

"Yeah, with Zayn's reaction, I bet it's an ex or an enemy" Harry joked.

"I don't know man, but I feel like it was wrong to bring her here. Zayn's reaction was clearly alarming. Maybe she brings back old painful memories? I honestly don't want to see Zayn sulk some more." Niall sighed, wait what?! Stop thinking about me, it's your turn to be happy now!

"I think I really should stop seeing her-" 

I broke in stopping him from committing further

"Woah! Hold your horses there mate! No. She may be an old friend but she's also the same girl you've been waiting for years now! I know it's too fast, but the way your eyes spark? It's too uncanny really" he chuckled at that. "No, really. Stop thinking about me, and start thinking about yourself!"

He was just there blinking rapidly not knowing what to say. This I guess is the first time I let my emotion take over me. I was always the composed and mysterious Zayn; No one hated, and no one loved.  
I took a deep breath calming myself and sat beside Sasha

"Okay look, I'm sorry. Really, it sucks that you think about me all the time that sometimes I feel like you pity me. You've done so much for me that I don't know what I would do if you let something so significant for me." 

"Hey, I'm sorry if you thought of it like that. I just wanted to help bro"

I shuffled his hair one last time, my petite brotha always the caring one. 

"You helped loads alright! It was also my fault whenever I see a girl I just get cold. But when you do these crazy things, I go zany!" I chuckled "So I guess you probably can't cope with my mood swings"

"Nah! You were always the mysterious type, I can handle it." One hand on my shoulder, he just smiled brightly at me and I did to-he's contagious.

"Now give me a 'Horan hug'!-or whatever the fans calls it" And it felt right to do so. Seconds later two more pairs joined in 

 

"Group hug!" Harry shouted and squeezed us. Making a chorus of pure happiness.


	8. Chapter 7

I woke up feeling queasy and nauseous. The bed was warm, and I knew that it was far from mine. The sheet doesn't smell like smoke nor watermelon, it was soft and it smells like body spray. Rolling over, that's when I realized that I was not on my bed....

I WAS NOT ON MY BED!  
I begin to panic, last night's happenings were a blur, and I don't like it. I don't remember stumbling here, nor how it happened. Thinking of the worst case scenario, I looked down and saw that I'm still fully clothed I sighed in relief. Thanks God!  
My bag was in the drawer beside me, but before I tried to reach it, suddenly the door flew open.  
Instincts get to me as I held my bag in front of me in defense.  
Surprisingly I heard a familiar chuckled, the voice of an angel filling my ears.  
"Good morning Sasha" I can hear him smiling but hurt still visible in it.  
I lowered my bag and looked up to him, our eyes met and I had to break it before I start tearing up. I can't let my guard down, not right now.  
"Morning" I mumbled back. His facade then dropped, seeming to remember my faults.  
He took a step towards me, that's when I realized that he was just wearing sweat pants without a shirt on basically showing off his toned abs. Gosh I miss running my hands through them.  
"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, so I'll just drop it." He took a deep breath "But let's clarify one thing. Past is past and I do not want to go back there. I will forget everything you did to me, and so will you. I don't want the boys to know anything about us. Clear?"  
I nodded "Crystal"  
He turned his back on me, but before he could leave,  
"He's waiting outside"  
I just sat there, immobilized. I raked my heart for any emotion anger, resentment, fear, annoy? But all i could come up was hurt. Why? Because he's forgotten everything, while i was dreading every waking hour? Because he was hear flaunting his way to stardom, and i was there hating why i have to be the star of every night.  
But who was i to judge him, when i was the one who left him in the first place.  
Puppy love, nothing serious. I repeated this mantra all over my head. Keeping me sane.  
I grabbed my bag, straightened myself and took a deep breath. Everything still seems fuzzy and blurry, but ill sort these thoughts later. I need to get out of this place first.  
Niall was in the mini kitchen, sipping his drink.  
"Good morning!" He chirped  
"Good morning, I'm sorry you had to see yesterday." I sighed looking down, but he just brushed me off.  
"Take a seat." He motioned a seat opposite to him, sitting beside him would be awkward. I'm naive, but not blind. "Zayn said you like English breakfast tea?"  
My eyes fell on Zayn, who was on our way. Giving him a quizzical look. "Uhm, yeah?" I'm not sure if i should be giddy of the idea, Zayn never forgets anything. "I'm sorry I broke down"  
"No, not at all" And he did this weird way of laughing, I raised a brow. "Anyway, lets forget about that. I wasn't able to tell you the real reason why I wanted you to dance for us."  
I didn't expect him to just brush it off. He didn't understand how it was a big deal to me. But who am I to push? Plus explaining is a tiresome job.  
"Come" He held out his hand for me to take, and I did.  
We went outside, and knocked to the door across. He just smiled as a well dressed Daniel greeted us.  
"Katy!" She kissed my cheek before dragging me inside, not bothering to acknowledge Niall  
I gave him a pleading look, but he just surrendered his hands jokingly.  
She sat me in the lounge, and headed to what i assume was the kitchen.  
"Juice? Water?"  
"I'm fine"  
She came back, a lemon juice in her hands.  
"So, Niall said your a good- no scratch that a great dancer. He can't shut up about you."  
Awkward.  
"I danced for a few events, nothing massive. I can't say I'm great" Sorting out the fact that those things happened in a club.  
"Did you try auditioning to agencies?"  
"Actually, no. I tried a few contests but none worked for me. I don't think agencies would to."  
"Oh, uhmm so here's the thing. I'm actually a dancer for XP Studios." A gasp escaped my lips before i knew it. Niall was grinning from ear to ear beside me.  
"XP is like the freakin dream! Just. WOW. You must be outstanding to be one of them."  
"I wouldn't say that, but i guess?"  
Silence. What do you expect me to say? XP studios is the best of the best. Its a dance agency where the most esteemed events get their terpsichoreans.  
"So, do you mind showing me a move or to?"  
"Oh my gosh sure" I said almost to enthusiastically.  
"Great, so there's this studio i came across yesterday. Do you mind accompanying me there?"  
"Sure"  
It took everything in me not to tackle Niall right now, but i guess it wasn't enough, i still did.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you" I said kissing his cheek.  
Daniel faked a cough, rolling her eyes at us.  
"Let's go?" She chuckled  
"Can i come?" Niall pouted  
"No I need some privacy" I stick my tongue out, and bid him goodbye.  
This maybe a start of something new


End file.
